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Speak Norn Iron
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[ Want to learn how to speak Northern Irish? ]
Of course you do! Or you wouldn't be here!

Northern Irish is a relatively simple language to learn, but there are many stumbling blocks! We are here to help you avoid situations that may arise if you can't understand what a Belfastian is saying to you.

This simple guide to Northern Irish will entertain as well as educate.

If you are from Northern Ireland and are visiting this page, don't think you know all the things in this site. The are plenty of Northern Irish people who don't understand Northern Irish.

 

[ How to Use this Site ]

On the left there are links to various sections of the site. Use these links to get to those pages

This website site has been created with 20 things in mind, but we will only list 5 of them:

-Ease of use
-Understandability
-Humour/craic
-Educational
-Entertainment

We are confident this site meets these requirements. And we want you to enjoy learning Northern Irish!

"Ya buck eejit ye....."
Soon you'll be able to understand sentences like this! Can you believe how simple it is?! No?! Well you'd better try it then, because its really simple. So simple in fact, a Carryduff hairdresser could learn it!

Speak Norn Iron is proud to introduce one of Belfast's hottest Boy Bands:
LIGHTER FLUID


Coming Soon: Exclusive Interviews and backstage shenanigans!
New Clothing Range!
Brand new range of clothing, brand new designs. Perfect for the summer. Or Winter. Check it out, nigh big mawn!

 

UPDATES

Here is where you'll find the most recent changes and additions to the site.

JULY 2006

New Summer Range!!

New Content coming soon - many thanks to all contributors!

speaknorniron@yahoo.co.uk

 

Case Study

'Oul Beg Likes it up the putter
Nan loves Northern Irish Golf!

"Nan" loves to putt. She has travelled around the globe to find a suitable Golfing Course to suit her extraordinary expertise. And she discovered the courses in Northern Ireland but she found it hard to get to grips with the language;


"I just couldn't bear the thought of not being able to communicate with the locals. But this site has helped me so much, I visit every summer, for golfing reasons of course, not for the riots."

We're proud to tell you that "Nan" has since mastered the language and she claims her favourite phrase is, "Shut yer bake dickbox."

 
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Northern Ireland



 

We can assure you that more than 3 places exist in Northern Ireland. Honest.

 
 
 

Basic Info

 Northern Ireland: A War Zone?
Northern Ireland [ here on in referred to as NI ] is not the war zone that is depicted on the television. This is a common misconception.

Now that more people are coming to NI than ever, it's become obvious that there are some difficulties for tourists understanding what Northern Irish people are saying. With our help, you'll be holding normal conversations with Northern Irish people in no time!

One comment we hear from tourists goes along the lines of, "I thought Northern Irish people were insane. Really violent and stuff...."

Of course any multi-cultural societies have problems, but don't let that interfere with your holiday! With our help, you won't get into fights for saying the wrong thing....
 

People
Northern Irish people are the same as anyone from anywhere. People here are so fresh, varied, exciting and entertaining we're sure you'll never spend a dull moment in NI.

From the warm and friendly atmosphere of Belfast to the cooler, damp regions of the Mourne Mountains, you'll be sure to bump into quite a few characters! Especially in the Mourne's area.

But please do be careful. People who live in NI have developed a knack of being able to tell who's a madman and who's not. Tourists usually get it wrong. If you think you might be encountering one of our few madmen, just politely ask a passer-by what they think
Copyright Speak Norn Iron 2006

To use this site, a sense of humour is needed. If you feel you do not have a sense of humour, then you might be able to download one here. Results not guaranteed. All pictures are property of their respective owners, except all original pictures which are owned by me. All text is property of Speak Norn Iron and may NOT be reproduced, in whole or in part, without prior written consent. Remember this site is just a laugh. It's meant to be fun. And please keep all old fashioned and bigoted remarks to yourself. Please do not e-mail me with "oh, I can't believe you left "craic" out of your dictionary, how could you?" Craic is not in the dictionary as you'll find it on any page relating to NI. I'm trying to be original here ya know! Stop reading this wee bit 'o' crap and go buy a T-Shirt. Phone the radio stations, phone the papers, tell everyone!